Lover of trading, tacos, 3D/AR/VR, cryptos, and most things Japanese

So yesterday Tom and I spent some time driving on freeways and in the mountains. It was good father/son bonding time, as we had a couple hours together with nothing else to distract us other than the open road. He did great, absolutely no problems or concerns about his driving by me. I pointed out how differently the car handles at speed, that driving – especially freeway driving – is like a dance, everyone moving in step, taking turns. We drove up Parmalee Gulch through Evergreen to a little country cafe I found on one of my motorcycle rides in the hills. Turns out there were two Ferraris and a new BMW parked outside, very cool. His eyes lit up a bit when he saw them, too.

Since he wanted a lazy Sunday, and I had no concerns about his abilities, we headed back home through Morrison and 470. Giving him some more “real” freeway driving experience. No problemo whatsoever.

After I dropped him off I was hanging out and my dad called me. He said the golf tournament that was on looked amazing on his 4K tv (4x HD resolution) and asked if I’d like to come over and watch. Turns out we both like looking at beautiful, green, groomed courses in the middle of winter, so I went over and got a few hours’ one-on-one time with Dad. The 4K resolution create simply an amazing picture, unbelievable level of detail. We talked about having a viewing party for The Masters in April, which was the first HD broadcast I saw years ago when I bought my HDTV. Simply gorgeous to look at – and The Masters has tons of azaleas all around the course, which are in bloom during the tournament.

It’s another 60 degree and sunny day here in Colorado – our fourth in a row. I’ve been seeing friends’ posts about the snow in Boston and the east coast, and it’s days like today that really make me appreciate winters in Colorado. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen so much snow, and I don’t envy their situations one bit. I was born in Syracuse, New York, and lived the first part of my life in a little town called Minetto, just south of Lake Ontario. We’d get huge lake effects during the winter, and averaged over 300 inches of snow a year there. One of my earliest memories is of my dad having to shovel through drifts that covered the back door, and snow drifts that went up to the porch roof. Deb and I would take turns sliding down the roof and the drift, and I used to dig snow forts all over the place. It was a lot of fun as a kid, but not so much as an adult, when you actually have to shovel things out of necessity rather than play.

Have you ever really connected with someone? I’m not talking superficial connections that come from things like networking, I mean something on a deeper level. I’m talking about something like the sense of a shared soul. You think the same things, you finish each other’s sentences, you are alike in so many ways it’s spooky.

I have been fortunate enough to experience this sort of connection a few times in my life. I’ve learned to stand up and take note of these connections when they happen, because they don’t happen very often. If I were a religious man, I’d say that these are the people that God puts in our lives for a reason. They fill the holes in ourselves. It goes back to the Goethe quote on commitment in a way, committing to something causes all sorts of things to unfold before us we couldn’t have possibly imagined happening.

My bestie and I have this sort of connection. She committed to finding mentors and approached me about being one. I had committed to connecting with more of the people in my life. The timing was perfect, we connected, and off we went. At first it wasn’t a super deep connection, sometimes these things take time to develop, but I knew immediately that I liked her and the way she approached life – very intentional. We talked about everything. Every day we connected on some level and, as time progressed, the connections grew deeper as we got to really know and trust each other. She quoted some of my favorite movies, and immediately knew the ones I cited as well. She has been sitting by my side through the whole hospital process, always there to provide support and proper perspectives when I’d get frustrated. She gave voice to my frustrations too. She showed up, every day, over and over. I hadn’t had that sort of support in my life before, and it was beyond refreshing.

My family has been great, really coming together in a way that heretofore has been unheard of, and they have been there for me too. But I don’t have this sort of deep connection with anyone in my family. Maybe that’s normal for families – we can choose our friends, but we cannot choose our families – and I know some people have that sort of connection with their families. My connections with mine are growing, evolving, developing into deeper ones lately. It’s never too late to start, but it takes work from all parties involved. My father is doing the work, being proactive, reaching out, and it’s great. My sister is too. But there are inherent differences in us that, at this time, preclude one of those really deep connections. We’re working on it though, making progress. And that progress is heartwarming.

Anyway, I guess my point is that when you find those deep connections in your life, pay attention to them. Nurture them, cherish them. They don’t happen very often and may be there for a reason. It is up to you to cultivate them. You can’t imagine how they will develop, and they will change you forever. These are the important people in your life, the ones that add value just by being present. Hold on to them with everything you’ve got.

Yesterday was kind of a blah day. I was kind of in a funk all day. I miss my bestie, who’s been unavailable recently. I didn’t work out, but I did go for a nice, hour-long walk with my sister, taking full advantage of the beautiful weather. So that was nice. I called the placement firm and told them my history, and they didn’t seem to think it’d be a problem. I also played in a poker tournament, had a great session, and finished second out of 87 entrants.

I was contacted by another recruiter, this time for a position at a media company which sounds like it could have a lot of potential, so I’m looking forward to learning more about that. I have to drive out to Lakewood today to do a UA, then hit the gym, then maybe go shopping for some new sneaks and shirts. Tomorrow I’m taking my son out to get some highway driving experience. We’ll head west, up into the mountains, and have lunch at this little cafe I discovered on one of my rides. It’s a quaint little hole in the wall, just off one of the side streets up near Evergreen. It’ll be good father-son bonding time and I’m looking forward to it. In one month he’s eligible to get his license! Kids grow up so fast, cherish every moment you get to spend with them, for sooner than you’d like, they’ll be off living their own lives.

I found this great little reminder in one of my mags about mindfulness that I’ll share:

“7 Things Mindful People Do Differently”

1. Approach everyday things with curiosity
2. Forgive their mistakes – big or small
3. Show gratitude for good moments – and grace for bad ones
4. Practice compassion and nurture connections
5. Make peace with imperfection – inside and out
6. Embrace vulnerability by trusting others – and themselves
7. Accept – and appreciate – that things come and go

I’ve had a lot of mindfulness training these past few years, and these things ring true. So much in this life is about perspective. I just shared a TED talk on happiness that talks about how the functioning of the brain is actually 37% more effective when in a positive state than a negative one. I’ve felt this for years, often being criticized as an overly-optimistic person, and now there’s research to back it up! 😉 Seriously though, the way we look at things makes all the difference. That’s why I’ve always chosen to find the silver linings in things. This does not mean one should ignore the bad stuff that happens, one needs to recognize, accept, process and move through that shit too. But keeping a positive perspective make it so much easier to deal with the hard times. Accept your reality, and take the steps you need to take to garner more of what you want out of life. As the Big Hitter himself, the Dalai Lama, says, “Cultivate a mindset of gratitude.” Be grateful for what you have, focus on that, rather than what you don’t have. Focusing on what you don’t have breeds negativity, which impairs the brain, and thus your life. Stay present and try to live life with each breath. Make the changes you want in your life happen. Commit to it. To paraphrase Goethe, all manner of things you could not have foreseen make themselves available to you when you commit to something. It’s yours for the taking, go get it! 🙂