Lover of trading, tacos, 3D/AR/VR, cryptos, and most things Japanese

Yesterday was kind of a blah day. I was kind of in a funk all day. I miss my bestie, who’s been unavailable recently. I didn’t work out, but I did go for a nice, hour-long walk with my sister, taking full advantage of the beautiful weather. So that was nice. I called the placement firm and told them my history, and they didn’t seem to think it’d be a problem. I also played in a poker tournament, had a great session, and finished second out of 87 entrants.

I was contacted by another recruiter, this time for a position at a media company which sounds like it could have a lot of potential, so I’m looking forward to learning more about that. I have to drive out to Lakewood today to do a UA, then hit the gym, then maybe go shopping for some new sneaks and shirts. Tomorrow I’m taking my son out to get some highway driving experience. We’ll head west, up into the mountains, and have lunch at this little cafe I discovered on one of my rides. It’s a quaint little hole in the wall, just off one of the side streets up near Evergreen. It’ll be good father-son bonding time and I’m looking forward to it. In one month he’s eligible to get his license! Kids grow up so fast, cherish every moment you get to spend with them, for sooner than you’d like, they’ll be off living their own lives.

I found this great little reminder in one of my mags about mindfulness that I’ll share:

“7 Things Mindful People Do Differently”

1. Approach everyday things with curiosity
2. Forgive their mistakes – big or small
3. Show gratitude for good moments – and grace for bad ones
4. Practice compassion and nurture connections
5. Make peace with imperfection – inside and out
6. Embrace vulnerability by trusting others – and themselves
7. Accept – and appreciate – that things come and go

I’ve had a lot of mindfulness training these past few years, and these things ring true. So much in this life is about perspective. I just shared a TED talk on happiness that talks about how the functioning of the brain is actually 37% more effective when in a positive state than a negative one. I’ve felt this for years, often being criticized as an overly-optimistic person, and now there’s research to back it up! 😉 Seriously though, the way we look at things makes all the difference. That’s why I’ve always chosen to find the silver linings in things. This does not mean one should ignore the bad stuff that happens, one needs to recognize, accept, process and move through that shit too. But keeping a positive perspective make it so much easier to deal with the hard times. Accept your reality, and take the steps you need to take to garner more of what you want out of life. As the Big Hitter himself, the Dalai Lama, says, “Cultivate a mindset of gratitude.” Be grateful for what you have, focus on that, rather than what you don’t have. Focusing on what you don’t have breeds negativity, which impairs the brain, and thus your life. Stay present and try to live life with each breath. Make the changes you want in your life happen. Commit to it. To paraphrase Goethe, all manner of things you could not have foreseen make themselves available to you when you commit to something. It’s yours for the taking, go get it! 🙂

I’ve written about this before, but it bears repeating. 🙂

I’m blessed. So fortunate. Fortunate that things didn’t get worse than they did. Fortunate to have a large group of close, supportive friends and family. Without them, my situation would be completely different. People I’ve come to know over these past years are in a much worse situation than I am. I feel bad for them, but I also feel grateful for being in the position I am now in.

My new bestie has played a key role in my progress. Since we reconnected 10 months ago, she has almost always been available to me. We’ve had some form of contact, practically every single day, over those months. She came out to visit, both me and some other friends in the area, we had some fantastic experiences and we’ve had some deep conversations too. I don’t know if it’s just great to have a new close friend who’s in my age group (recently, my friends have been younger than, almost generationally so) or the fact that we have so much in common that it has become almost passe when we discover another shared interest or belief. The running joke is that we share the same mind.

My family has been nothing short of wonderful. My mom and stepdad have opened up their home to me, letting me stay with them during this transition phase. My father, who moved to town two months ago, is always there to support me in this journey. My sister and brother-in-law have opened up their hearts and their home to me each weekend.

My family is coming back together as a unit, something I haven’t experienced in about 40 years, and it’s wonderful. I now have dinner with my mom, dad, and stepdad regularly and, for someone who grew up living first with one parent, then the other, it’s rather surreal to sit down at the table with both of them at the same time. I am grateful.

I am grateful my parents are still here, alive and doing well. I am grateful for my reconnecting with my sister. I am grateful to have a fantastic new job. I am grateful for my friends who have been so supportive. I am grateful to be healthy. I am grateful for my son, who’s growing up to be a fine young man. I am grateful for my ex-wife. I am grateful.

The Dalai Lama himself (big hitter, the Lama) talks of the importance of gratitude. It is when we forget to focus on what we have that we become dissatisfied and unhappy. So, I’m taking this moment to be grateful for everything I have in my life.

What are you grateful for?

I’m a firm believer in what I call “Daily Wins”. A daily win is any victory, no matter how small, that you can achieve each day. It may be writing a blog post, making a phone call, taking the next step on a project, going to the gym, or even starting a business. The key is to consistently do things that you feel good about, that give you that little emotional burst of satisfaction from a job well done.

Daily wins create a positive feedback loop. You feel better about having accomplished something, no matter how small, and that success breeds more successes. I like to start my off with the daily win of writing something on this blog. It’s a small thing, but I find when I get a good post done in the morning that, no matter what else happens that day, I’ve accomplished something worthwhile with my time.

On the job, it’s a lot easier. There are tasks you know you have to do each day and by getting a jump on them and getting one or two done first thing, you set yourself up for continued motivation throughout the rest of the day. Sometimes we can start with easy tasks, sometimes it’s better to start with something difficult, something that will take time to accomplish. Then we have the satisfaction of knowing we are working towards a goal, making progress, no matter how small it may be.

By setting and achieving small goals we feel better about ourselves and small accomplishments lead to bigger and better things. Seek out your own daily wins and see what a difference it can make in your day. 🙂